Meeting your needs

​One of the important core principles of the non-diet approach is to be kind to yourself.  For too many years most people who have been on diets have derided themselves when they break the rules perhaps calling themselves names such as disgusting or useless.  The non-diet way says if you eat something for comfort, even if it is a lot, the important thing to remember is it met a need you had to comfort yourself and at that time you were doing the best you could. We eat for a whole variety of reasons often bearing no relation to our hunger levels.  We might eat when we are angry, anxious, stressed, bored, sad, or because of a bereavement or sometimes when we are excited and happy maybe when tired or feel that we aren’t being listened to or thirsty. However If you are upset and think that your eating is out of control then maybe you might choose to try and change this.
The first step in change is to try and work out why you are using food.  Often a hard thing to accomplish and something that might take a while. There may be more than one reason at any time e.g. tired and sad. When the feeling to eat when not hungry comes up try and think about what might be going on and give yourself a little time before you reach for food. It can sometimes help to write down what you are feeling.  But remember if you do go for food don’t judge yourself because it is meeting a need at that time instead when eating you may be able to think more clearly about what is going on and how you can really comfort yourself.  This may include
Going to bed earlier if tired or perhaps looking at your work load
Confronting the person who has triggered your feelings or if this isn’t possible write down what you would like to say or perhaps discuss with a close friend
Have a good cry
Have a drink if thirsty
If bored think about why this is and look at ways to change you routines or maybe get a few new hobbies
While doing this work you might find that some of the feelings that come up feel too painful or you can’t deal with them at the time you might want to have a few distractions to build up your comfort base so that food is not the only thing to turn to.  I have divided these into a number of categories but you might come up with different ideas and categories there are no hard rules.  Looking at my categories and ideas you can see that they can overlap
Active ideas
Go for a walk, run, swim or cycle
Do some Gardening
Punch a pillow
Do some Yoga or Pilates
Do some housework
Walk your dog
 
Relaxing ideas
Go for a nap
Get a massage
Do a mindful exercise or meditation
Do some Yoga
Have a Bubble Bath
Sit in the garden and listen to the birds
Stroke your dog
 
Fun ideas
Go for a walk on the beach and maybe paddle in the sea
Meet a friend for a coffee  
Go to the cinema
What about 10 pin bowling or ice skating
 
Some of the above ideas you might like to try, but better still is to make up your own list of distractions a way to start with is to think about activities you have enjoyed in the past or wanted to do or try. Food can be included on this list remember you are trying to reduce comfort eating it’s not necessary to cut it out completely e.g. when meeting a friend for coffee you might decide to have a bun or perhaps an ice cream after a paddle in the sea the choice is yours. But remember the main thing is to be kind to yourself you should be your own best friend.
 
 
 

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